Panic Attack and the $300 Budget - Both Very Good Works of Fiction

Sorry. This assertion of a $300 budget just doesn't wash with me.

Firstly, the camera that filmed this movie cost more than $300, unless it was made from recycled parts found in the city dump. The animation cost more $300 as did all the actors and city shots. The only way this film cost $300 is if one guy did every single thing including act as buildings and scenery and all the extras.

At best this is a publicity stunt advertising a movie that is either complete or in production. It's following on the heels of District 9 - a great Sci Fi NOT based in the US or with any big name actors and no doubt trying to follow in its footsteps. Don't get me wrong. It is a great piece of work, and an excellent piece of PR.

At best, the budget was $300 on paper and he overshot it by about $999, 700. If the budget for this film was $300 then Avatar's budget was $3000.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Looking forward to the release of Panic Attack and finding out exactly which big movie house is behind this.

What I Learned About Vampires from Twilight

Yes, I am prodigiously late having just watched Twilight and I suppose I must now watch New Moon. But nevertheless I have been educated in the world of Vampires according to Stephenie Myer.

1. White Vampires are pallid, Black Vampires are...Black. One notices the distinct ashen tone of all the white vampires in Twilight (which are all the vampires save the dreadlocked Laurent) apparently due to their avoidance, but not abhorrence, of sunlight. Laurent however, is a cool, dark shade of black. No sun deprivation there, and proof that a sweet shade don't fade and good black don't crack.

2. Vampires are pallid purely by choice...and stupidity. Unlike traditional vampire lore, Twilight vampires don't combust in sunlight, they just glisten with diamond studded sensuality. But the blinginess of their skin would make them the envy of the more flamboyant denizens of the gay community so they opt out. But why don't they just catch some sun when no ones looking? Maybe sun block will disguise the sparkly skin? Whatever the case, if they don't burn up in sunlight there's no good reason why they can't work on a much needed tan.

3. Vampire movie dreadlocks look real! Edi Gathegi's dreadlocks were fabulous unlike many movie manes (like those in Segal's Marked for Death for example). Can't say the same for his accent though, couldn't tell if he was from Abu Dhabi or Alpha Centauri. 

4. Dating A Vampire = Abstinence. Maybe a tacit object lesson sneaked in by Myer? But it is implied that Bella and Edward did not consummate their relationship in this first Vampiric instalment. In mid embrace Edward backs off afraid that in the throws of passion he might mistakenly eat Bella for a midnight snack. Understandable concern. They instead opt for emotional intimacy rather than physical. A commendable element no doubt completely overlooked by hormonal teenagers and menopausal cougars.

5. Only good looking people can become vampires. Yes, the Ugly Betty's of the world can rest assured that no one will come looking for their blood. Well, maybe their blood but not their eternal, torturous bloodlusty companionship. We all know that the standard of unobtainable beauty is perpetuated by Hollywood. Not only that but if enough people think someone is hot, mass hysteria takes over and even Jabba the Hut becomes world's sexiest...sentient blob of the year. Still secretly, I envy Pattinson's finely sculpted eyebrows. Rowwwrrrr! In the end, an ugly person (by what standard?) is the fast food of the vampire world - in abundant supply, you don't want to eat it, but it's there so you might as well. 

Most Haunted Live: 8 Nights of Restrained Sniggers

I'm not saying that the 'other world' doesn't exist and I'm not saying that spirits or metaphysical phenomena can't affect us in some way.  But I am saying that the Most Haunted Live 8 day Halloween Special will rid you of any kind of supernatural belief.

Firstly, how did they get the air time of 4 hours a night for 8 days straight? Who paid for this celebration of reported and super-subjective 'maybes'? And how did they get a live audience to commit to  4 hours of watching strangers bounce into each other in the dark? Ok, I've only watched one night, but what a borefest! Nothing happens...NOTHING HAPPENS. It is 4 hours of people standing in the dark accidentally scaring each other, being mesmerised by old Christmas decorations, saying, 'did you hear that?' in urgent tones and being completely fascinated by the workings of electrical light switches. Oh, and spelling names with a glass tumbler. Wow.

I am a theist, but I'm a huge skeptic in matters of the paranormal and MHL is not helping the case. As usual ghosts can only be found in complete  darkness and only turn up when the camera is in the other room. Cheeky. Further, the only evidence of ghosts is what some guy 'feels' at any given moment, malfunctioning electronic equipment (wow, maybe ghosts are the reason Vista sucked so bad) and sounds that no one but the enigmatic clairvoyant host hears.

Surely the MC who provides continuity is stifling guffaws as he gravely summarizes the 'events' of each evening. And then what about the promised 'faces of evil', where's the flying furniture and rotating heads? I'm sorry folks but if I'm going to be wooed to the paranormal I'm going to need normal evidence. The only ghosts that are haunting that show are ones that will appear in your dreams after you've been effectively lulled into a deep, deep sleezzzzzzzzzz...

Things That A Windows Operating Systems Is Like

Dead Beat Dad - Always promises to show up but never does.  


'High Class' Prostitutes - Highly priced but leave you vulnerable to viruses (so I've heard).  


Russian Roulette - It's just a matter of time before...bam!  


Drunk Drivers - Think they can drive but end up crashing and hurting everyone else but themselves in the process.


Hypochondriac - Always thinks something is wrong with itself except when something is actually wrong.


Rotting Tree Stump - A thriving ecosystem of bugs.

Please...add your own

New Cadbury's Ad - What do you think?

Chris Rock's Good Hair

Obama: Nobel Prizes & Noble Gestures

Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize! Wow!

Looks like the world's love affair with one of the most articulate  and inspiring orators and diplomats of our time is not yet over, contrary to one CNN report.

It hasn't been a year yet since Obama took office, but his charisma, thoughtful rhetoric and distinctive equanimity (some might add good looks) captured the world's attention years before the election. The amazing thing about the  celebration around Obama is that people are taken with his character and approach, rather than his politics. Indeed, the strong suggestion is that the former dictates the latter.

However, one is tempted to think that this was a rather last minute decision. His official advocacy of nuclear disarmament was a relatively recent affair. Well, everything he has said or done is relatively recent. Perhaps the other candidates were more deserving? Maybe Obama could have copped next year's award?

Then again the issue isn't time so much as the dearth of precedent associated with the Obama persona. Apart from  his race, when was the last time a US President - or premier of any nuclear nation for that matter - proposed a reduction in atomic weaponry? One may be tempted to believe that Obama is actually an advocate of peace!

Of course the implications are somewhat worrisome. Obama is threatening a multi-billion dollar industry. War makes money. The Iraq War has been  a very public and practical illustration thereof, so what kind of corporate opposition will he face? Then again, peace is also about action, and no reduction in nuclear arms has taken place yet - only the proposition of such (not to mention two on-going wars).

A debate regarding Obama's worthiness of (and indeed the motives/agenda behind) receiving the Nobel Peace Prize is likely to follow closely behind this announcement (indeed this discourse is part of it), and perhaps it should do. I am certainly in Obama's camp, but wish him to keep his cool head and determined posture, after all, titles and awards have been known to steal substance and action. The reward in this case is not a peace prize - but peace itself, and that is still far from mission accomplished.